Is your loved one refusing home care services?

Many caregivers will say that they would like to receive home care services (care for their loved one, respite, housekeeping, etc.). So, what do you do when the person receiving care refuses outside help?

Many seniors with loss of autonomy are uncomfortable, for various reasons, with the idea of having strangers in their home to help them. For example, they may feel like their privacy is being invaded or fear the loss of independence.

• Before giving up when your loved one refuses to have care services, you could try the following tactics:
• Listen to what is behind his or her resistance and reassure your loved one about his or her fears.
• Preserve your loved one’s dignity and independence by telling him or her that the help is for you, instead of for him or her. For example, tell your loved one “I need help with the housekeeping” or “I worry about you less when you are not alone in the house.”
• Tell your loved one that the home care is a recommendation from the physician, nurse or social worker.
• Help your loved one understand that the home care will help you reduce your level of exhaustion and that you will be able to take better care of him or her in the long term.
• Present the service to your loved one as a trial instead of a commitment. 
• Start gradually with simple tasks for a few hours a week.
• Introduce help slowly. For example, you could check with the person who will provide the service whether it is possible to introduce this person as an acquaintance who is passing through the area, instead of a person who has come to look after your loved one.

Taking things slow will help your loved one develop a relationship of trust with the person who will provide the help and facilitate his or her adjustment to the service.

Don’t hesitate to find out more about the home care services available.