Reconciling caregiving, family and work is quite a challenge. Katia Valdevit knows all about it. Her career has been punctuated by caregiving duties and her career has been turned upside down by this role. Here is the testimony of a woman who has been a caregiver since childhood, and a career woman.
02 September 2024
I’m not worried about the start of the new school year. That wasn’t the case when my children were in primary school… They’re now 14 and 15. It’s still the same school. There’s a set routine and that’s important for them, especially for my son.
I was born into an Italian family. At a very young age, I had to take on the responsibilities of a caregiver. From the age of 10, after the birth of my little sister, I took charge of many aspects of her daily life. My mother was suffering from bipolar disorder and was not following her treatment plan, so was unable to do so. This meant I had to play the role of “interim mum”, juggling school and family responsibilities.
Yes, at first I felt a certain pride, but as I got older it became harder to manage. As a teenager, while my friends were having a good time, I was often stuck in this role, which led to frustration. Even though I adored my sister, the weight of responsibility sometimes took its toll on me.
I adopted my children from Russia in 2012. They arrived with serious traumas at the age of three and two. At the time, my job was to work on integrating people with disabilities, especially mental health disabilities, into the labour market. In 2014, I had to stop working. I had too much to manage and the children had all kinds of appointments. I just didn’t have the strength to carry on doing the job I loved. My employer was very supportive, hoping that I’d come back, giving me parental leave and an extra year’s leave. He really supported me, but I couldn’t come back; the children needed someone to be with them. Even today, they have trouble sleeping if one of the parents is away. For me, having to leave that job was painful because I loved it.
I needed intellectual stimulation and I didn’t want to limit myself to the role of mother caregiver. So I started a private practice in employability, aimed at employers and job seekers. I was clever enough to launch online training: it’s easy to sell and you don’t have to be there in person! I thought it was great to be able to work for myself from home while the children were at school. It made life a lot easier for me.
I come from a generation where women have to have a career. Being a stay-at-home mum was hard for me. I’m a career woman and I have a very professional side. Being a caregiver and succeeding at work is possible, but it requires a lot of adjustments.
Often, caregivers don’t have the same control over their careers as they did before they became caregivers. In the world of adopters and parents of children with special needs, many have to make a career change or reduce their working hours in order to adapt to the reality of their children.
Caregiving comes with a lot of mental stress. If you’re in work and you’re a caregiver, try not to neglect yourself and take time for yourself. For example, I’ve taken up painting!
You could consider talking to your employer about your situation. That could be a good start.
Many thanks to Katia Valdevit for sharing her experience!
Need to talk?
Contact our Caregiver Support Helpline for counselling, information and referrals.
Every day from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.
Free of charge.
