Mental health: “what caregivers want most of all is to stay connected”

Marie-Ève: Caregivers often feel powerless. Sometimes they take the lead in communicating, but this is not necessarily what the person they are caring for wants. Their attempts to communicate are more or less tailored to their needs and those they are caring for. In this dynamic, disappointment and frustration are common emotions.

During our meetings with them, we encourage people to ask themselves questions. When are these mechanisms beneficial or less so? How do I feel, and what mechanisms does it involve? What are their issues and what are mine? What areas can I have an influence on? It’s not an easy question, but I always encourage an open dialogue.

Maxime: Initially, there’s also a lot of misunderstanding. I bring caregivers back to themselves, and eventually they realize that the other person’s behaviour isn’t really that nebulous. Investing in myself means determining one’s needs and the situations in which I can protect myself. What am I prepared to accept? Not protecting yourself means risking mental health problems for yourself and even risking that the person you are caring for will put you through what he or she is going through.

Marie-Ève: I’ve noticed that the role of caregiver can lead to symptoms of anxiety, hyper-vigilance or stress. Often, people come to the CSMFE wanting to talk about the person they are caring for and find solutions. Their priority is the person they are caring for.

Sometimes, in fact, mental health challenges were already present before the caregiving relationship. For me, the idea is always to work with a holistic view of the person and the situation they’re in. My role is to bring the caregiver’s experience to the fore. The intervention aims to highlight the needs of the caregiver and the support required to meet them.

Maxime: A lot. Prejudice can have multiple consequences. In the course of supporting and/or being with a person with a mental health issue, the caregiver may come to see it as “the” issue. The aim of our intervention is to help the caregiver distinguish the person behind the issue. Caregivers may also experience stigmatization themselves. Sometimes, there’s a confusion of roles: I’m a caregiver, but I may feel responsible as a parent for having done something that could have triggered my child’s mental health issue.

Marie-Ève: Families are often concerned not to talk too much about mental health outside the family unit; they feel a great deal of judgment. I work with families to deconstruct the stereotypes, labels and images associated with mental health issues. We offer sharing groups to build solidarity among caregivers and provide a space for sharing without judgment. It’s often a great source of relief: “Ah, others are going through things that are similar to my situation!”

Maxime: I work at Hébergement l’Entre-Deux, located in Longueil. It’s a residential service for women who are experiencing mental health issues, such as borderline personality disorder, anxiety or depression. I work with the people involved. Marie-Eve, on the other hand, works at the CSMFE and, as such, works with family and friends. For the past year, Marie-Ève and I have been working on a collaborative project between the two organizations.

Marie-Ève: Yes, the title of the project is “An open dialogue for stronger ties.” The aim is to strengthen the ties between caregivers and people with mental health issues. Maxime and I have complementary roles. I look after the entourage. When families come to see me, together we explore relational dynamics, their expectations in this relationship and the basics of communication: dialogue, openness, the relationship with others. For these families, there’s a strong desire to maintain a link with the person being cared for. All our efforts are geared towards achieving and maintaining this dialogue.

Marie-Ève: The project began in 2023. We spread the word about the possibility of creating family gatherings, something that had never been done here before. We’re getting more and more requests! Initially, the family has a few meetings with me, while Maxime and the person with mental health issues have individual meetings. Maxime and I don’t share confidential information. When everyone feels ready, the meetings begin. We take part, in a support role, to open the dialogue. We love this project! It should be pretty evident by the looks of it!

Marie-Ève: It makes sense for our organizations to collaborate on this project together. The idea is to include everyone in the dialogue: caregivers, people with mental health issues and stakeholders.

Maxime: With this project, I find it extraordinary to be able to get everyone in the same room, and then, through open dialogue, to highlight existing dynamics. For example, one person may feel that they are expressing their needs, without it being clear to the other. Another example is borderline personality disorder, an issue that focuses on relational and social dynamics, and which depends very much on the context of life. In this case, it is essential to involve those around the person in the intervention.

Maxime: The word that comes to mind is “collaboration.” This project is the first time I’ve worked with those who are close to people with mental health issues. I’ve come to understand the extent to which families are powerless because of a lack of knowledge about mental health. I’ve seen how much they want to maintain a link with their loved one. I learned that, ultimately, mental health is “everyone’s concern”: we all need to work together.

Marie-Ève: I learned the importance of being open to others and welcoming them. I have also come to understand the importance of context and atmosphere for organized meetings. I realize that, yes, communication is necessary, but that transparency and benevolence are just as essential.

• Carrefour en santé mentale pour les familles et l'entourage (CSMFE);
• Hébergement l’Entre-Deux;
• Supporting someone you are caring for with a mental disorder;
• Mental health and mental disorders;
• Resource Directory.

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